I don't want to say I've been neglecting this blog, but since the last time I posted, I got a girlfriend and the Higgs Boson was discovered. It's been a while. Also, I'll get to the punny title in a second.
Why has it been something like 3 months since the last time I posted? Well, three reasons.
One: university. It hogs your time. You think you're out and it keeps pulling you back in. It's not like at high school where you do your stuff, then go sit down. You're going and going. Free time becomes a commodity.
Two: Karin, the aforementioned girlfriend. I can assure you, when it comes to priorities, make no mistake in that I place Karin far above my blog. Thus, it suffers.
Three: I have Twitter, which has become my vent to the world. I also go on Facebook, but Twitter is much more of a window into my world. If you're visiting the blog, you get to see my Twitter feed on the right. I use Twitter because I can easily get it through my phone.
So: for all those of you who have been eagerly awaiting my return, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I have returned! The bad news is*, all of those three things up there still exist. So no guarantees on scheduling. But you knew that already.
So what does someone who hasn't posted in three months talk about? Well, whatever the hell I want to. Today, I've decided to talk about words I like. Because I can. And I suppose my blog title gets to live up to its title every now and then.
Bayard - noun - A person armed with the self confidence of ignorance. It sounds like something from "The Devil's Dictionary", but in fact it comes from the OED, by way of "Reading the OED" by Ammon Shea*. It's this sort of word that amuses me - it says so much in so little. I, in fact, have written quite a few myself about university. And now you have an explanation for the title of this post. But first, allow me to show you how it's done with some excellent quotes from "The Devil's Dictionary."
Admiration - noun - Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Bore - noun - A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Philosophy - noun - A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Scriptures - noun - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Year - noun - A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
Yes, Ambrose Bierce (the author of said Dictionary) hated everything, but damn, that dry wit is hilarious. Why do I particularly enjoy this sort of thing? It involves clever, concise wordplay, and that is one of the things I really enjoy, comedy-wise. Douglas Adams was a master of this, as was Joseph Heller. In the field of modern novelists, Bill Bryson is also great at this.
Now, without further Apu*, I present my very own attempt at making something like this.
All-nighter - noun - slang - A ritualistic celebration of caffeinated beverages.
Asia - proper noun - Where UNSW students come from.
Brochure - noun - See "bookmark."
Chemistry - noun - See "physics."
Class - noun - Where one is if not climbing stairs.
Computer - noun - The most effective study tool; the least effective study tool.
Distraction - noun - See "fail."
Examination - noun - The period following an all-nighter.
Holiday - noun - See "sleep."
Ink - noun - That which runs out during examinations.
Lecture - noun - An optional class.
Lecturer - noun - A person employed to move through the slides on a PDF
Lunch - noun - food eaten at 3 p.m.
Non-examinable - adjective - invisible; irrelevant.
Non-trivial - adjective - Excruciatingly difficult.
Reference - noun - a way of increasing the length of an assessment.
Russia - proper noun - Where mathematics lecturers come from.
Physics - noun - See "mathematics."
Study - verb - The act of checking Facebook with a myunsw tab open.
Trivial - adjective - Obvious to the lecturer.
Upstairs - adjective - Not worth going to.
OK, that's all for today. A final note that I wanted to slip in somewhere - at the time of writing, this blog had 493 views. The great and powerful Arceus approves. Also, Googling 'Wayward Letters' gets you this blog as its first link. Move over, Daily Mail. Anyway. Thanks for reading, and with any luck, I'll be writing again soon.
AB
