The Plug I

Welcome to the first post of The Plug, which will be posted semi-regularly in a blog which is itself posted on semi-regularly. In short, every couple posts there might be a post on The Plug. And before you explode and shout 'Stop telling me when it will be posted and get to what the damn thing is!', The Plug is pretty much a promotional thing where I tell you about books/movies and link stuff on the internets that I enjoy. And if you're wondering where the name came from, it came from "Rove Live." No special story or witty anecdote. Rove Live. I couldn't think of anything better. *cough*

There is an actual post in the works, so never you worry if you've been holding out for my new post (for some reason). Anyway. Onto the actual posting of stuff that is better than this. Please note that these categories probably won't all feature in the next exciting instalment of The Plug. It's going to be a flexible thing.

Also, I want to remind you about the whole asterisk-next-to-a-word business I mentioned a couple posts ago. Just want to put that out there.

Book: "Lazarus Rising" by John Howard.

I know what you're thinking*: 'John Howard's autobiography? How can that possibly be a good book?' Trust me, I had similar doubts, but it is quite fascinating; I'm about halfway through it. A fairly lengthy book, but one I'd recommend if you're interested in what makes the country tick.

Movie: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2"

That's the movie I last watched, and if you haven't seen it (or god forbid, haven't actually read the books), then stop reading this and go watch it. Seriously. Go get the movie somehow and watch it. Do it now. Enjoy the movie. Laugh at Voldemort's funny laugh. Tear up when you hear this and realise a piece of your childhood is now over. Go. I command it. Imperio!*

Song: "Dammit Janet" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Let's face it, every song from that movie is damn catchy, even it is a pretty damn bizarre movie (there are no words to describe how strange it is. It's worse than Monty Python. Enough said.). So this is the song I'm listening to right now, as it's caught in my head.

Song: "Trainer Battle (Kanto) - Pokémon Reorchestrated" by Skotein

Yes, I can have two songs. Shut up. Though I suppose this one isn't technically a song, rather a piece, but I'm not going to split hairs. This thing is pretty much awesomeness incarnate. Listen to it. The title is as good a description as any. Listen to it.

Youtube Clip: "Die Simpsons - Homers Kopf platzt"

I stumbled upon this a while ago, and it currently still remains one of my favourite Youtube clips. The sheer level of surrealism never ceases to amuse me.

Animation: Spider Bongos

I don't have a name for this, so I just made one up. Anyway. Enjoy a spider playing the bongos. It's the cutest spider since Joltik (seriously. Google image search "Joltik" and prepare to go 'Awwww....').

Animation: "The Scale of the Universe"

This one I found linked in a forum thread of an xkcd comic (specifically, this one), and it struck me. Scale is really difficult to wrap your head around, but I think whoever made this* did a really awesome job.

News Article: "Time to inject some rational thought into anti-vaxxers" by Tory Shepherd

I recently did a post on trusting the experts, and I happened to mention vaccinations. Well, I recently found this gem, and there are some truly excellent quotes in here. I highly recommend it.

Well, I can't think of anything else that sticks out. Hope you enjoyed this edition of The Plug. An actual post is coming soon. How soon, I don't know. What about, I do know, but I'll leave you swinging in the wind* trying to figure out what it is.

AB

Side Effects May Include...

This was an old text file I found on my computer that my friend Aleksa and I collaborated on a while back. He's responsible for most of the good ones, like "intermittent surprise" and "voluntary paralysis." The man is a comedy genius. Anyway, on to the wall of text.

Side effects may include loss of vision, halitosis, anosmia, intolerable whining, sudden dichotomy, anti-folk tendencies, crucifixion, apiary, severe paranoia, electrolysis, hive mind syndrome, use of vernacular, loss of scalp and fingernails, cinematography, myxomatosis, premature emancipation, hypothetical situations, post-hypnotic suggestion, onomatopoeia, self-pollination, nihilistic world view, sequelitis, nitrogen fixation, yeast infection, athlete’s foot, Achilles’ heel, earth tremors, memento mori, desalinisation, fractional distillation, vain attempts at subterfuge, glossolalia, messianic tendencies, total internal reflection, killer dog attacks, sexual dimorphism, mercury deficiency, insurance fraud, metabolism in females, personification, elephantiasis, heliocentricism, unnecessary shouting, pulmonary arthritis, frictional unemployment, defenestration, high stomach acidity, guitar fever, inexplicable moments of badassery, time dilation, reverse bulimia, postmodernism, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, sudden onset infatuation syndrome, intermittent surprise, insomnia, narcolepsy, ozone deprivation, hypnic jerks, extradition, chlamydia, centrifugal force, anabolic steroids, voluntary paralysis, stigma, plagiarism, hammer-and-sickle cell anaemia, chemotherapy, neo-conservative tendencies, regression therapy, Stockholm syndrome, acceleration of the uterus, mass-energy equivalence, lupus, diplomatic immunity, skin failure, death and polydactylism. Results may vary. Consult your mortician before use.

And that's that. That was an easier post than the last to write. Expect a lot of this type of thing - both Aleksa and I enjoy the non sequitur style humour and we tend to riff off each other until you get a paragraph's worth of that. Enjoy the hilariousness.

AB

Forum Weapons

And in the fastest turnaround since a U-turn from a Ninjask* (new blog feature: mouseover whenever you see a word with an asterisk, like so*. I'm using them where putting brackets might be otherwise awkward.), I'm going from a somewhat sophisticated discourse on trusting experts when it comes to making decisions to "funny videos are funny." Blame it on me being just such a complex person (part real, part imaginary). It's probably better that me being inconsistent/unorganised/something.

Anyway. This post is going to be about forum weapons, which are, essentially, very short videos, usually a couple seconds, that you might post in response to posts made on forums, or, as I use them, on Skype chatting with mates. I've saved over 30 in a folder in My Favourites under "Helpful Videos" (because this is what happens when you have no school and no work). So for no apparent reason, I'm counting down* the top 25 in order ranked roughly according to usefulness and general awesomeness. I'll also be putting a brief comment and an example of where you could use it, because why not?

Please note: this is a very rough 25, and videos had to be somewhat relevant. Several videos had to unfortunately be let go and could not be used due to a lack of relevance. Mostly GIR quotes. You may also see an abundance of Simpsons and Futurama quotes. This is because there are a lot of these posted on Youtube. Also: this is going to seem like a long post, just because it's a list of 25.

25. 'It begins!' - Barney, The Simpsons

I linked this video on my first post. Used when something awesome/terrible/noteworthy has begun.

Example: 'Guess what: I hear Pokémon Black and White have finally come out!'

24. Dun dun dah! - Creeper, Minecraft

This one I feel like is more a sarcastic one, like if someone thinks something is dramatic and it isn't. Or if it is dramatic. Take your pick.

Example: 'Oh my god! Snape kills Dumbledore!'

23. 'It seems to me like you're the expert, Mark!' - Johnny, The Room

Again, I think this is a sarcastic video, like if someone claims to be an expert in something and has several Critical Research Failures*.

Example: [Several poorly typed paragraphs explaining how there had to have been explosives in the Twin Towers because jet fuel doesn't burn that hot.]

22. 'This is indeed a disturbing universe.' - Maggie, The Simpsons

So what happens if something happens that really shouldn't? Something that doesn't feel quite right? You reply with this link.

Example: 'Hey, it says here that the new Twilight movie made almost $140 million in its first weekend.'

21. 'NEEEERRRRRRDDDDDDD!' - Homer, The Simpsons

This video I love just because it's a response to pretty much anything I've ever done.

Example: 'Friends! I found this awesome new website called Dueling Network. You can duel people online now!'

20. 'Hopes... deleted.' - Wine Robot, Futurama

Say you find out something you were looking forward to is no longer going forward. Here's your response.

Example: 'Finally! It's the end of September. Time to get on to Pottermore. ...what do you mean "extended beta"?'*

19. 'What a story, Mark.' - Johnny, The Room

Roughly equivalent to 'cool story bro,' but about three times more awesome because it's from The Room.

Example: [Somebody posts a long-winded rant filled with typos in response to a small error in what is otherwise a well-thought out post/article.]

18. 'I don't care.' - Bakura, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series

I think this one is fairly self-explanatory.

Example: 'What's in the news... Kim Kardashian's getting a divorce?'

17. 'You lie! You liiiiiieeeee!!' - Zim, Invader Zim

So you hear something that you refuse to believe is true. What do you do? What do you do?

Example: 'Hey, AB. Angus & Robertson is getting shut down. Same with Borders.'

16. 'I'm gonna watch it again!' - GIR, Invader Zim

Somebody links you a kickass video. This is your response.

Example: 'Have you seen the trailer for The Muppets movie?'

15. 'Awww, yeah.' - URL, Futurama

I find this useful when you find something awesome, yet understated (or something).

Example: 'I just drew the last piece of Exodia.'

14. 'NOOOOOOOO!' - Tristan, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series

If you have any exposure to popular culture, you should know what a Big No is used for.

Example: 'Bellatrix just killed Dobby!'

13. 'We are not amused!' - Bender, Futurama

This one I reckon should be used in response to somebody trying to make a joke and having it fall flat.

Example: 'Hey guys, did you hear the one about the blunt pencil? I'd tell you, but there's no point.'

12. 'What the hell was that?' - Krusty, The Simpsons

You find something absolutely incomprehensible on the internet and you don't know quite what to say. Fortunately, you have this video.

Example: 'So, AB: what did you think of "Knowing"?'

11. 'That's the joke.' - Rainier Wolfcastle - The Simpsons

So you read an absolutely terrible joke. Or not even a joke; something that could be a joke. Something.

Example: 'Hey! Astrology is a real science!'

10. 'That's boring. You're boring everybody. Quit boring everyone!' - Homer, The Simpsons

Boring things abound in the world. It's very easy to write something boring without knowing it. And what can you do if somebody tries posting something boring?

Example: 'AB, good news on the golf front: Marcus Fraser is leading the PGA!'

9. Sarcasm Sign - Leonard, The Big Bang Theory

Some people are completely oblivious to sarcasm of any sort. It's worse on the interwebs where you can't make out tone or body language. This video can be used to sort out those unfortunate incidents.

Example: 'Sure, I'd love to go see Paranormal Activity 3.' 'Oh, cool!'

8. 'That's the best thing I ever saw!' - Fry, Futurama

Somebody links you something awesome beyond awesome, or you see the movie of a lifetime. Can you figure out what to link?

Example: The credits start playing to the last Harry Potter movie.

7. 'I love you.' - GIR, Invader Zim

This is a video to post if someone does something epic for you, and the only possible way you can think of thanking them is through the medium of Youtube.

Example: 'I got a Mew in a Nintendo Event. Do you want to do tradebacks for your Dex?'

6. 'YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!' - CSI: Miami Opening Sequence

I absolutely love my puns. I can't get enough of them. This has become the internet go-to for puns, whether they be terrible, or so terrible they are awesome.

Example: 'What do Russians wipe their mouths with? Soviets!'

5. 'You have my undivided attention!' - Homer, The Simpsons

One of my favourite Simpsons quotes (second only to how Homer Simpson defines a wedding*). Another sarcastic video, this one to be used when you are "paying attention" (see video #9).

Example: 'Hey, AB, can you listen while I recite my English speech about feminism in Shakespeare?'

4. 'You serious?' - J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man 2

This is when someone says something so stupid, so unbelievable moronic, that you don't know if they are actually being serious or not.

Example: 'My favourite song? Probably... "Friday" by Rebecca Black?'

3. 'You, sir, are an idiot.' - Krusty, The Simpsons

Very similar to #4, except you think they are being serious, and they really don't deserve to be laughed at.

Example: 'Yeah, sure I've seen the Harry Potter movies, and they were alright, but I have to say Twilight still beats it hands-down, I'm afraid.'*

2. 'I have no strong feelings one way or the other.' - Neutral President, Futurama

Some things on the internet just barely deserve a response. Maybe somebody's overreacting to something fairly minuscule. So you must logically post an awesome video in response. Actually, this video works for a lot of things. Use it liberally.

Example: 'Oh my god! They changed the sleep mechanics in Gen V! Can you believe that? Why would they do that? What do you think of that, AB?'

1. 'Your mother.' - Cartridge Unit, Futurama

Here it is. The Omega Response*. The ultimate video to reply to anything anywhere. Enjoy.

Example: No example is needed here. Post it anywhere.

And that's my top 25 forum weapons. I actually started this post on Wednesday, but due to a combination of the sheer length of this and the power of procrastination in the face of something that didn't have an actual deadline, it got done over 3 days. I might post something soon, but again, there's no rush. I hope you enjoyed the videos.

AB