How Not To Answer an Exam Question

Another random Word document from the depths of my external hard drive. This one I did a couple years ago (and thanks to the magic of my first blog, I know the date - say what you like, that blog was good for some things.), and essentially I was given a School Certificate exam question (if you're interested, it's Question 47 on Page 32 of this exam paper) on the last day of term because why not. So I answered like an idiot because why not.

You probably don't really need the picture and exam question for this, but you can click that picture to the right for both of them. Anyway, without further ado, the random answer that my brain thought up two and a half years ago to some old exam question.

Firstly, as the trees will have to be cut down, the squirrels who live in the forest will have to move house, and this will mean that as they look for houses, they will have to hire a babysitter. However, with this economic climate, jobs are in short supply, so they will have to feed their babies to wolves in order to survive. This, along with the crippling insurance payments, will make the squirrels frustrated and angry. Combined with the tip, which for some reason has houses on it, and the tip’s dangerous supply of used needles, will make the squirrels evil. This will surely result in the deaths of millions of innocents, and the squirrels will have to be taken out by laser fire, which is of course very expensive and will contribute greatly to the recession that has gripped the world.

The corpses of the squirrels will have to be dumped in the lake, as the tip is currently being overrun by real estate agents trying to sell houses located on the tip to some stupid bastard with more money than sense who would find it fascinating that they can crap out of their window and not get arrested for it. The decaying corpses of the squirrels will release chemicals which will mutate the existing fish into a sentient squirrel-fish hybrid called the Squish. The Squish, being immune to laser fire due to their reflective scales, will render the humans powerless.

So it is written, so it shall be. Or was. Or something. Work with me here.  Next post might be something with a little more substance, and not just a random Word document. Or it might be. Who knows? It's Wayward Letters, baby. Accept no substitutes. Anyway. As always, enjoy the hilariousness.

AB