Forum Weapons

And in the fastest turnaround since a U-turn from a Ninjask* (new blog feature: mouseover whenever you see a word with an asterisk, like so*. I'm using them where putting brackets might be otherwise awkward.), I'm going from a somewhat sophisticated discourse on trusting experts when it comes to making decisions to "funny videos are funny." Blame it on me being just such a complex person (part real, part imaginary). It's probably better that me being inconsistent/unorganised/something.

Anyway. This post is going to be about forum weapons, which are, essentially, very short videos, usually a couple seconds, that you might post in response to posts made on forums, or, as I use them, on Skype chatting with mates. I've saved over 30 in a folder in My Favourites under "Helpful Videos" (because this is what happens when you have no school and no work). So for no apparent reason, I'm counting down* the top 25 in order ranked roughly according to usefulness and general awesomeness. I'll also be putting a brief comment and an example of where you could use it, because why not?

Please note: this is a very rough 25, and videos had to be somewhat relevant. Several videos had to unfortunately be let go and could not be used due to a lack of relevance. Mostly GIR quotes. You may also see an abundance of Simpsons and Futurama quotes. This is because there are a lot of these posted on Youtube. Also: this is going to seem like a long post, just because it's a list of 25.

25. 'It begins!' - Barney, The Simpsons

I linked this video on my first post. Used when something awesome/terrible/noteworthy has begun.

Example: 'Guess what: I hear Pokémon Black and White have finally come out!'

24. Dun dun dah! - Creeper, Minecraft

This one I feel like is more a sarcastic one, like if someone thinks something is dramatic and it isn't. Or if it is dramatic. Take your pick.

Example: 'Oh my god! Snape kills Dumbledore!'

23. 'It seems to me like you're the expert, Mark!' - Johnny, The Room

Again, I think this is a sarcastic video, like if someone claims to be an expert in something and has several Critical Research Failures*.

Example: [Several poorly typed paragraphs explaining how there had to have been explosives in the Twin Towers because jet fuel doesn't burn that hot.]

22. 'This is indeed a disturbing universe.' - Maggie, The Simpsons

So what happens if something happens that really shouldn't? Something that doesn't feel quite right? You reply with this link.

Example: 'Hey, it says here that the new Twilight movie made almost $140 million in its first weekend.'

21. 'NEEEERRRRRRDDDDDDD!' - Homer, The Simpsons

This video I love just because it's a response to pretty much anything I've ever done.

Example: 'Friends! I found this awesome new website called Dueling Network. You can duel people online now!'

20. 'Hopes... deleted.' - Wine Robot, Futurama

Say you find out something you were looking forward to is no longer going forward. Here's your response.

Example: 'Finally! It's the end of September. Time to get on to Pottermore. ...what do you mean "extended beta"?'*

19. 'What a story, Mark.' - Johnny, The Room

Roughly equivalent to 'cool story bro,' but about three times more awesome because it's from The Room.

Example: [Somebody posts a long-winded rant filled with typos in response to a small error in what is otherwise a well-thought out post/article.]

18. 'I don't care.' - Bakura, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series

I think this one is fairly self-explanatory.

Example: 'What's in the news... Kim Kardashian's getting a divorce?'

17. 'You lie! You liiiiiieeeee!!' - Zim, Invader Zim

So you hear something that you refuse to believe is true. What do you do? What do you do?

Example: 'Hey, AB. Angus & Robertson is getting shut down. Same with Borders.'

16. 'I'm gonna watch it again!' - GIR, Invader Zim

Somebody links you a kickass video. This is your response.

Example: 'Have you seen the trailer for The Muppets movie?'

15. 'Awww, yeah.' - URL, Futurama

I find this useful when you find something awesome, yet understated (or something).

Example: 'I just drew the last piece of Exodia.'

14. 'NOOOOOOOO!' - Tristan, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series

If you have any exposure to popular culture, you should know what a Big No is used for.

Example: 'Bellatrix just killed Dobby!'

13. 'We are not amused!' - Bender, Futurama

This one I reckon should be used in response to somebody trying to make a joke and having it fall flat.

Example: 'Hey guys, did you hear the one about the blunt pencil? I'd tell you, but there's no point.'

12. 'What the hell was that?' - Krusty, The Simpsons

You find something absolutely incomprehensible on the internet and you don't know quite what to say. Fortunately, you have this video.

Example: 'So, AB: what did you think of "Knowing"?'

11. 'That's the joke.' - Rainier Wolfcastle - The Simpsons

So you read an absolutely terrible joke. Or not even a joke; something that could be a joke. Something.

Example: 'Hey! Astrology is a real science!'

10. 'That's boring. You're boring everybody. Quit boring everyone!' - Homer, The Simpsons

Boring things abound in the world. It's very easy to write something boring without knowing it. And what can you do if somebody tries posting something boring?

Example: 'AB, good news on the golf front: Marcus Fraser is leading the PGA!'

9. Sarcasm Sign - Leonard, The Big Bang Theory

Some people are completely oblivious to sarcasm of any sort. It's worse on the interwebs where you can't make out tone or body language. This video can be used to sort out those unfortunate incidents.

Example: 'Sure, I'd love to go see Paranormal Activity 3.' 'Oh, cool!'

8. 'That's the best thing I ever saw!' - Fry, Futurama

Somebody links you something awesome beyond awesome, or you see the movie of a lifetime. Can you figure out what to link?

Example: The credits start playing to the last Harry Potter movie.

7. 'I love you.' - GIR, Invader Zim

This is a video to post if someone does something epic for you, and the only possible way you can think of thanking them is through the medium of Youtube.

Example: 'I got a Mew in a Nintendo Event. Do you want to do tradebacks for your Dex?'

6. 'YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!' - CSI: Miami Opening Sequence

I absolutely love my puns. I can't get enough of them. This has become the internet go-to for puns, whether they be terrible, or so terrible they are awesome.

Example: 'What do Russians wipe their mouths with? Soviets!'

5. 'You have my undivided attention!' - Homer, The Simpsons

One of my favourite Simpsons quotes (second only to how Homer Simpson defines a wedding*). Another sarcastic video, this one to be used when you are "paying attention" (see video #9).

Example: 'Hey, AB, can you listen while I recite my English speech about feminism in Shakespeare?'

4. 'You serious?' - J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man 2

This is when someone says something so stupid, so unbelievable moronic, that you don't know if they are actually being serious or not.

Example: 'My favourite song? Probably... "Friday" by Rebecca Black?'

3. 'You, sir, are an idiot.' - Krusty, The Simpsons

Very similar to #4, except you think they are being serious, and they really don't deserve to be laughed at.

Example: 'Yeah, sure I've seen the Harry Potter movies, and they were alright, but I have to say Twilight still beats it hands-down, I'm afraid.'*

2. 'I have no strong feelings one way or the other.' - Neutral President, Futurama

Some things on the internet just barely deserve a response. Maybe somebody's overreacting to something fairly minuscule. So you must logically post an awesome video in response. Actually, this video works for a lot of things. Use it liberally.

Example: 'Oh my god! They changed the sleep mechanics in Gen V! Can you believe that? Why would they do that? What do you think of that, AB?'

1. 'Your mother.' - Cartridge Unit, Futurama

Here it is. The Omega Response*. The ultimate video to reply to anything anywhere. Enjoy.

Example: No example is needed here. Post it anywhere.

And that's my top 25 forum weapons. I actually started this post on Wednesday, but due to a combination of the sheer length of this and the power of procrastination in the face of something that didn't have an actual deadline, it got done over 3 days. I might post something soon, but again, there's no rush. I hope you enjoyed the videos.

AB